The Five Love Languages of Children by Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell, is one of the "The Five Love Languages" series of Christian books by Gary Chapman, which brings the love tank paradigm to parents. The book mainly works from the perspective that each child has a love tank that needs to be filled. Young children crave for love from their parents; each child receives love primarily in one of the following five love languages: acts of service, physical touch, quality time, words of affirmation and gift giving. The authors reveal how parents can recognize childrens default love language to communicate love effectively.
The book is helpful for parents who want to raise emotionally healthy children. It reveals how parents can keep the love tanks of the children full so that they can guide them more efficiently. The authors explain that no matter how the child behaves they will be more responsive to parental guidance if they feel their parents genuinely love them. The authors end by giving hope to parents who might feel like it too late to employ the techniques since they can also apply to adult children. The book has multiple examples of families that have had a significant impact from applying these love languages. Beside each chapter, have real examples of how these languages can be applied.
Physical touch, the authors explain that it is the most natural love to use unconditionally since it requires no special occasion for parents to express their love. However, this type language has some limitations such as fear about sexual abuse. When kids grow older, physical touch, become a limited way of showing love. For instance, the extent to which a father shows love to his four-year-old daughter will not be same when the child is fifteen years old. The authors state that most children are starving for the quality time from their parents. This is the act of giving the child focused and undivided attention. However, this is limited to the fact that the modern world has everyone running up and down to make ends meet and sometimes it can be difficult for the parent.
The third language is gifting; gifts offered to the child by the parent as an expression of love, not as a reward for a service they did. However, if a parent continually showers the child with gifts, in case of some financial difficulties the child might end up feeling neglected. The authors state that it is essential to show the act of services to the children. However, this should be done sparingly to avoid remaining childishly self-centered and selfish. Lastly, words of affirmation, as revealed in the book, is centered on words such as "I love you," the authors express that the parents must give meaning to such words because children tend to think concretely. However, frequent random praise is not healthy since some children will tend to assume it is natural and whenever they do not receive such words they will think that there is something wrong with them and become anxious.
In conclusion, the book emphasizes that it be vital for parents to try to mix all the five love languages with moderation. Besides choosing one language, that the child is accustomed to combining two or more can be healthier for the child.
Chapman, G., & Campbell, R. (2005). The Five Love Languages Of Children. Chicago: Northfield Publishing.
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