Marriage and Children - Essay Sample

To many parents, having children is a kind of a deeply rewarding life experience. Many parents have, however, recognized parenthood as a journey that is characterized by both hardship and joy. Coming with a decision of whether to have a child or not is a life choice. There is no wrong or right answer towards this question and one cant really say that there is an obligation to start having children or the time limit on how to come up with a family planning decision. Parents should think about their motivations and the lifestyle they want, think of the kind of relationship they have because this provides some of the basic information couples need to come up with the right decision concerning their family.

I dont think young couples make considered choices about having children. Majority of them do not take enough time to decide whether they are in a position or they have the capacity to take care of a child they want to have for the next coming years by supporting their lifes till when the child becomes fully independent (Brake, 2016). The young couples have lost the fact that having a baby is not just a time commitment rather but raising it with all the appropriate surviving conditions and above all, knowing that a child is a mental investment.

Some of the young couples believe that having a child is what saves a breaking relationship. Little do they know that there is no guarantee of this concept. In any case, the pressure that comes with raising children even ends up hurting relationships even more than it helps. Additionally, young couples have a mind that the next step after marriage is having children. This is not true because of there no specific time that one should have children. The issue is checking out with a spouse and see whether it is necessary to have a child or not.

To determine how prepared young couples are prepared to have children, there are ten questions which they should ask themselves (Johnson, 2017). First, they should ask how prepared they are to say goodbye to the sound of their thinking for not less than eighteen years. This is because, when a child comes, unusual sounds come in. For instance, how prepared are young couples prepared to hear children call them mommmmyyyy and dadddyyyyy if they are not ready, then let them postpone it to the next month, year, and if necessary, the next decade? Secondly, young couples should ask whether they can clean up puke, make dinner, change crib of sheets regularly, and at the same time, help someone to carry out homework. If yes, then they can regard themselves ready to have children. If not so, let them wait for the appropriate time.

Third, young couples should ask how financially stable are they. For one to raise a single child, money is needed to cater for their health, food, clothing, hiring maids, getting them to schools, among others. If the pockets are empty, then let the couples invest first before coming up with decisions to have children. Fourth, young couples should ask themselves whether they are both prepared to have a baby. Having a child is not for one person and the other one to catch up later, it is a road for two people.

Fifth, having children needs young couples to let go pride. They should ask how good they are to, for instance, keep scraping things off of floors. Or in simple words, your pride? Children force pride to go away. They, for example, cause public potty accidents, and carry out wrong things and at the wrong time. The best one can do in this case is to, therefore, stand low and purpose to move on. If couples are not ready for such, then let them know that they are not ready to have children. Six, young couples should ask whether they are ready to spend a couple of nights without sleeping. This is because children are ever crying and most of them disturb at night. If they are not ready, then it means they are not ready for a child. Seven, young couples should ask whether they are ready for their sex life being put on the back burner. I dont have a view that they will never have sex, but children come with tiresome responsibility and the last thing couples want at these time, is to rest in bed. Co-sleeping and nursing also toll on sexual relationships.

Eight, couples should ask whether they are happy to help and share responsibilities. Raising a child cannot be left all alone to the mother. The father has to be prepared to help when necessary. For instance, changing diapers because such is an essential part that comes with parenting. Nine, couples should ask themselves how having babies will affect their career. If no one is ready to stay back at home and take care of the child, then they should first, stop the issue of having a child. Above all, couples need to ask, whether they really know what kind of parents they want to be in future. Do they want to be parents who can fully nurture and guide their children in the right direction or will they be called parents just because they have kids? If not so, then children should be the last option in their lives.

References

Brake, E. (2016). After marriage: Rethinking marital relationships.

Johnson, E. C. (2017, August 17). 7 Questions Every Couple Should Ask Themselves Before Having a Kid. Retrieved from https://www.womenshealthmag.com/mom/are-you-ready-for-a-baby